#this show has 12 emmy nominations

tablespoons:

loling-in-the-deep:

imagine if your name was a swear word

motherfucker can you please come down to the office

omg at first i thought u meant like ur name was used as a swear word 

shut the brittany up go chris yourself

crayonchewer:

Thundershock!

crayonchewer:

Thundershock!

awolcas:

there’s this one girl at school who sends a mass text to the whole year group whenever she sees a dog so that we can go pat it too if we’re nearby and I have petted at least five dogs because of her that I wouldn’t have otherwise and idk I hope you all have someone like her in your lives

sergeantjerkbarnes:

can we please discuss what the fuck is wrong with pennsylvania

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and finally

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colornbian:

How do you become someone who puts stickers on fruit because I think I could do that

sadnessandpuns:

On my tombstone please write “Not appreciating my puns when I was alive was a grave mistake”

dy1anobrien:

i don’t know why everyone makes the grim reaper out to be a bad guy i mean he’s just taking to you to the afterlife it’s not like he killed you it’s actually quite nice of him to walk you there imagine if you had to go alone

thecutestofthecute:

Hamster make breakfast

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Hamster drive car

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Hamster make tea with frend

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Hamster plan dinner party

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Hamster have Birfday

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Hamster love life

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Hamster happy to be live

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Hamster love you

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kurgs:

skeletongrazed:

skeletongrazed:

what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails
noshacklesarefirmer:

bdsmgeek:

actuallyuniquenudes:

"Gee honey, when you said you were in to light bondage this isn’t quite what I had in mind"
#ArchivePicOfTheDay

Heh BDSM puns.

Oh look… PUNishment!

noshacklesarefirmer:

bdsmgeek:

actuallyuniquenudes:

"Gee honey, when you said you were in to light bondage this isn’t quite what I had in mind"

#ArchivePicOfTheDay

Heh BDSM puns.

Oh look… PUNishment!

trcunning:

earthdad:

ok but give me one good reason why you wouldn’t date Kermit the frog besides that he is a puppet and a frog

I can’t beat Miss Piggy in a fight. She’s very strong and knows karate.

handsomedogs:

Obie / / 

dekutree:

howtobeafuckinglady:

FUCK I JUST WOKE UP MY ENTIRE HOUSE

harrison ford deserves every single oscar for this one scene

tags:  #I love this 
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Shaira